My Name is Lucifer
by bunnydakillr
Summary: Shirley happens upon the only man she could possibly hate, when she makes a startling discovery...   songfic


**Dedicated to Ashyy. I'm forever your confidant.**

**Standard Disclaimers:**  
**"Code Geass" and "N.I.B." are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended or committed by this work, as it is a nonprofit, fanmade piece intended entirely for entertainment. **

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The fiery sounds of chaotic battle raged around Shirley, as she quivered in the cold nighttime air of the harbor loading dock. Her heavy, nervous breathing was only just audible over the calamity surrounding her. She was barely able to distinguish her surroundings by the apocalyptic brightness of the explosions dotting both the air and the ground, in the distance. A part of her would have much preferred the pitch black of night. At least then she could have concealed her fear and apprehension.

Before her, amidst a pile of twisted metal, destroyed storage containers, and a smoldering escape pod, laid the immobile form of Zero – dead or unconscious, she knew not. In her shaky hand – it was because of the cold, she kept telling herself – she held aloft a pistol, conveniently salvaged from the terrorist's person. He was the reason she had come, for he symbolized all that which she hated; everything which had caused her pain or strife over the past year. The unspeakable things he had done…even a bright-eyed pacifist like herself found it impossible not to detest the man who hid behind his mask. That did little to quell her fear, though.

She swallowed audibly, doing what little she could to settle her nerves. She had come this far, so it would be downright insulting to her beloved father's memory to turn away now. Just as Zero had taken her father from her, so too would she now repay him in full, as was her right to do so. Still, this was a human life in her hands, and no matter how much she might hate the faceless man before her, the act at hand still demanded much from her…perhaps more than she could handle. She squeezed her eyes shut and haphazardly raised her weapon, aiming for the head.

"With this…" she choked quietly. "With this…I'll avenge my father!"

Much to her surprise, a sudden painful groan from the monster before her startled her out of her skin. She jumped back several paces and was rooted to the spot in fearful surprise. Part of her had still thought him dead. Could she really go through with this, especially now that he was awake? She clenched her teeth and swore silently to herself, tears gathering on the edges of her eyes as she struggled with the dilemma before her. So lost in thought was she, that she almost didn't notice as the terrorist's famed mask slipped and fell from his face, wobbling along the ground with a plastic scrape. A swath of familiar, unkempt black hair pierced her to the spot even more firmly.

It couldn't be…

Lelouch stirred again, gradually opening his eyes. It took him several moments to reorient himself once his sight returned – apparently, he was upside down. The escape pod had saved him. A second later and he would have…

He shook off the thought, refusing to dwell on what could have been. He was alive now; that's what mattered. His head darting left and right, he strained to try to reach the releases on his restraints. When he finally did, he clattered unceremoniously to the ground, headfirst. Groaning, he rubbed the back of his head as he scrambled to his feet, realizing that something was missing. Shit, where was his mask? And what was that incessant whimpering? Was there a dog running around or something?

Only then did his eyes notice his mask, and a pair of all too familiarly sleek and smooth legs, standing shakily behind it. He froze with one arm outstretched to collect his mask, eyes shaking with shock as he swallowed nervously. Gradually, he lifted his head to confirm a sight he thought impossible: the last person he wanted to see on that night, and in that place. Especially without his mask.

"Shirley."

The normally emphatic and passionate Zero was unable to muster any emotion, stricken with shock and dread as he was. He was paralyzed, even his thoughts felt slowed. Strangely enough, though, it wasn't dread or fear of being caught that petrified him so – it was sadness. Seeing Shirley − one of the few people in his life he considered important enough to distance himself from − caught up in a battlefield like this with a weapon held loosely in her hands and barely managing to keep the tears from falling…It pierced his heart. The pain of getting fired out of an exploding knightmare frame and slammed into a solid wall of steel containers was nothing compared to what he felt now, and she hadn't so much as spoken yet.

Shirley whimpered again, unsure of what to think. This was a dream…no, a nightmare. Quick, punch myself so I'll wake up! But she didn't, for she knew there was no running away from this. As much as she hated it, she was as awake and lucid as could be. This was no dream. Lelouch was Zero, the man who killed her father. Unable to move, think or speak, she did the only thing her instinct would allow: she let her emotions do the talking for her.

"How…how Lelouch…" she began, her soft, shaky voice somehow carrying quite easily over the cacophony of the ongoing combat around them. She clenched her eyes shut, squeezing loose a few tears this time. "How could you be Zero! How could you kill my father! How could you…"

She fell to her knees, weeping. It took a monumental effort on Lelouch's part to keep from groaning and recoiling in pain. How strange, it felt as though she had struck him physically with blade or bullet, yet all she had done was choke out a few barely audible words. Did he really have that much empathy for her, that much of a connection to her?

He didn't even need to ask. The answer was obvious by the way he was torn up inside merely by looking at her. He could tell that her distraught appearance on the surface was nothing compared to the conflict and despair going on within her mind. Whether from the way she looked at him with heartbroken eyes or from the way she ever so slightly shifted the barrel of the gun between him and herself, he knew she was an emotional wreck. No one, especially someone as sensitive and emotionally frail as Shirley, could handle this much stress. If she was to live past this night, he knew he had to do something, but what? Use his geass? He doubted he could bring himself to do that, and even if he could, the stress on her body would only increase, even if she knew not the reason. Besides − he admitted to himself with a sudden, fresh pang of guilt and pain – he doubted even his geass could penetrate the thick veil of tears obscuring her eyes. Ultimately, her words cut him off again before he could decide on a pertinent course of action.

"You said you loved me…" she muttered unsteadily through a fresh stream of tears.

_Some people say my love _

_cannot be true._

Without knowing what he was doing, he took a step forward, ignoring his discarded mask. He clenched his fist and looked anywhere but at her.

"I did say that…and I meant it, too…"

"LIAR!" she screamed through her tears, beginning to weep anew. Her sudden outburst, her ripping accusation pinned him to the spot once more, and this time he was unable to keep from groaning and recoiling in pain. Still, something made him press on.

"Don't you think I wish that were a lie?" He hung his head, fists clenched, beginning to tear up as well, now. Surprised, Shirley lifted her head and gazed up at him, tears still clinging to the corners of her eyes.

"It would be so much easier if I didn't love you…I wouldn't have to spend so much time thinking of ways to get my mind off you, or how to keep you from getting too attached to me just to have your heart broken. But, it seems I've failed on both accounts…"

_Please believe me, my love,_

_And I'll show you._

She stared up at him, mouth agape in disbelief, as he continued his confession, driven onward by reasons even he could not explain. By all rights, he should be using this moment to push her away forever. To show her what an evil bastard he was, and in doing so convince her to never love him again. That would lift the burden from his shoulders in a heartbeat. But, something in him prevented him from doing so.

"I've lost so much…so many people who I allowed to get close to me. I couldn't let that happen to you, as I knew it very well might when I took up this hideous mask…" he trailed off, glancing momentarily at the scuffed, discarded object at his feet. "But, if this is the alternative," he said, finally meeting her gaze as he gestured to her in her distraught agony, "then to hell with the consequences. I can't allow things to persist this way if it's only going to tear us both apart."

_I will give you those things you thought unreal._

_The sun, the moon, the stars, all bear my seal._

"Lelouch…" she breathed ever so softly, "what are you saying?"

Futilely attempting to swallow the massive lump in his throat, he tried to reply just as softly and tenderly. Damnit, if he was supposed to be such a heartthrob, then why did he have such difficulty talking to the one woman he actually cared for?

"If you want to love me as badly as I, you, then I'll give you that opportunity. If it means exposing you to the horrors of my life and the dangers it presents, then so be it. I'd rather risk that than continue to watch us both suffer and deteriorate apart like this."

_Follow me now, and you will not regret_

_Leaving the life you led before we met._

Shirley sniffled, and refused to take her eyes off of the man in front of her. "Lelouch…" she whispered wistfully, "I don't know what to say."

He smiled softly. "Say 'yes.' You've always been the most loyal and devoted person I know, Shirley. I think it's time I rewarded you with a little honesty."

The tears fell anew, but her expression changed entirely. Her hand left the gun, allowing it to rest at her side, and she continued gazing up at him. Her teeth were clenched, but not quite with sadness or despair, as they had been before.

"Oh Lelouch…"

_Your love for me has just got to be real._

_Before you know the way I'm going to feel._

_I'm going to feel…_

_I'm going to feel…_

Unable to withstand the tension any longer, she lurched forth and embraced his torso with surprising might, weeping openly against him. Ever so gently, he dared to rest a consoling hand on her head, glad to be comforting her pain for once, rather than causing it. He allowed her to vent to her heart's content for a few moments, before asking the pivotal question on which everything rode.

"So…what do you say?"

_Now I have you with me_

_Under my power._

_Our love grows stronger now_

_With every hour._

It was several moments before she finally extricated herself from the comforting warmth of his costumed torso. Her expression soft, she gazed up at him with misty eyes before finally, in an impossibly quiet voice, replied with the word he was dying to hear:

"yes."

Quiet though her response was, it may have been as loud as one of the explosions around them to Lelouch. His heart fluttered and he beamed down at her. Maybe he was insane, but if this night had taught him anything, it was that he would much rather be happy than sane.

_Look into my eyes_

_You'll see who I am._

He extended a hand downward to help her to her feet. She smiled weakly, and after wiping away some tears, her hand crept forth to meet his.

_My name is Lucifer,_

_Please take my hand._


End file.
